Ok, I don’t think I’ve blogged much other than knitting, yarn, spinning and family stuff. I don’t blog anything about religion or politics because this isn’t that type of blog (and frankly, peopile already have their minds made up on both so what’s the point of discussing it?) And I try not to blog too much about work – who wants to hear what I do for a living! But I had something happen this week at work, and I thought I’d post about it and get your comments.
I am not normally quick to take offense – in fact, sometimes it takes me a while to get that people are being jerky (unless they are really being super jerky, and then I do get it). I’m going to be vague about some of this because I really don’t want to post anything specific about my job or company. So if some of this doesn’t seem to flow, that’s why (changing the names to protect the innocent kind of thing). We are mid-year so in most of corporate America, that means mid-year review. For a variety of reasons, my group didn’t even have objectives for this year until Monday. And the objectives I was given were so lame and bad I was embarrased to even write them down. But I did, and then I added how I’ve met these lame objectives. The next step would be my mid-year review. I don’t normally care about these things, but I haven’t been at this company long, and there are a lot of changes going on, so I thought it would be a good chance to get some information from my manager (who I have only reported to for a couple of months), and while not looking forward to it, didn’t mind that it was going to happen…but it didn’t really work out that way.
Yesterday, I was standing with two co-workers when my manager (and theirs) wanders over and asks “hey, anyone up for a staff meeting right now?”. It was 4:30 and one of my co-workers said he was leaving in a few. Someone made a joke about not wanting to meet, and everyone laughed. Then manager said “ok, well, can I count this as all of your mid-year reviews? I need to get it done”. Everyone laughed and he said “no, I’m serious”. So one of my co-workers said “sure, why not”. I said “Nope, you have to meet with us”. I said it in a joking way (to set the stage/tone). My manager turned to me and said “why don’t you shove it up your ass then”. (and now my blog G rating just went down the tube!). He followed that with a joke about “hoping HR doesn’t have any bugs” and I walked away without responding.
I really am not easily offended – I curse myself (hold on, I don’t actually curse at myself…you know what I mean), and understand (and participate in) office jokery (jokery? What is the right word?!). But I’m really struggling with this one – I was completely offended and still am bothered by it today. This happened yesterday, and I’m still bothered by it today. I did tell a couple of friends/co-workers about it. One of them made a comment to one of the people that was there when it happened – and he responded that I should be flattered – because my boss was treating me like “one of the boys” (I am the only woman reporting to this guy). I explained that I wasn’t offended because I’m a woman, or that I felt it was sexist. I was offended because I think it shows a complete and total lack of respect. He didn’t buy that and said I just “didn’t get” how the group acted with each other and that I just needed to start responding in the same manner “to fit in”.
So what do you think? Do you think it is wrong? And if so, do you think way because you are a woman and would men think differently? I know that the men I’ve discussed this with thought it was offensive – but maybe that is because they are married to me, or friends of mine. I also am really bothered by the comment that I should be flattered to be “in the boys club” – isn’t this the type of crap that started the whole woman’s movement? Why do I need to be in a boy’s club? Why can’t I simply do my job and be treated with respect and not have my gender be any part of a work conversation? (By the way, I work for a large Fortune 50 corporation in a conservative industry so its not like this is a tiny company where things like this aren’t part of diversity training and policies). I’ve received advice to report this to his manager, go to HR, etc. I’m probably not going to do anything – it just isn’t a good time (lay offs!) to be negative, but I’m sort of curious – maybe it is just me…
OK, this is a knitting blog, so how about some knitting. Oh, that’s right – can’t show you it….I’m test knitting! OK, how about a small peek…
Can you guess what it is? I can’t wait to finish it – and hopefully soon you will see it published!
I have to work from home tomorrow because my tooth broke on the train home tonight (there you go, Dan – I blogged it) so I need to get into the dentist. Although it is a drag….I’m sort of glad because this has been a rough first week back from vacation and it will be nice to get some sleep.
OK, I’m off to finish up my test knitting project – have a good rest of the week!