Changes

You know, it’s always hard to know what the balance between sharing personal information on my blog and keeping things to myself.  Over the years, I’ve actually shared a lot but it’s typically good news, or things that I don’t think are so personal that they can’t be shared.  When I read blogs, I also like a bit of the personal – it gives me a sense of who the blog writer is and I like to peek into other people’s lives when they let me.    So I thought I’d share a little bit of my personal life today – but if you don’t want to read it, look for the knitting picture and move on from there!

I think I may have mentioned our up and downs with Cieara.  In the last year, we had a lot of problems working together as a parents/children should, and it culminated last week in her moving out. It was a blow up and wasn’t planned but I think for now she’s going to stay where she is.  So we are facing so many things all at once, so suddenly, that its sort of hard for everyone.  We are worried about her – making bad decisions, not planning for the future – you know, all the things some 18-year-old kids do.  I myself made some bad decisions at the same age, so I know how it is.   She’s safe, and she’s still going to school and should be graduating next week, but its hard to not have her here.     Lines of communication are damaged but I’m hopeful that we will be able to fix that and at least keep talking to her and keep some connections.    There isn’t much we can do right now to change her mind – she’s 18, and she is determined to go her own way, but so hard as a parent to let go.

For us, we went from being parents with children at home to empty nester’s in a 24 hour  period.  And it’s really weird.  Andrew is visiting right now so I think some of the impact isn’t felt yet, but it already feels odd.    All of a sudden, after 25 years, I don’t have children to take care of.   And I finally get why some parents have a hard time with this – in the past I never really understood it.  I mean, who wouldn’t like the freedom of just being a couple after all this time of raising kids?   Now that I’m looking at it – it’s just so weird and odd that I think I’m going to have to adjust slowly.  Larry and I are both busy with work, hobbies, the house, and all that.  We have things we do together and things we do alone.  So that’s all good.  And I think we’ll be fine – but it is just so weird and I feel a little bit  sad when I think about it.

So there you go – that’s the little bit of personal on today’s post.  I hope that it wasn’t too bad – and if you have any thoughts or advice, you know I’m always looking for input!

OK, for those of you that skipped the personal and came for knitting.

2397

I had a bad case of startitis last week – so much so that I actually went out and bought yarn to do it!   I don’t know why, I don’t remember how this came to my attention last week, but I came across the pattern for the Peaks Island Hood and all of a sudden I just wanted to make it.  I had seen the pattern when it first came out and queued it, but for some reason, seeing it again just charged up my knitting mojo and I just had to start it.  Because the perfect time to make a heavy wool scarf/hood is in June!

I didn’t have the yarn I wanted to use in the stash, so I went to the Loopy Ewe and ordered some Cascade 220.  I love this yarn – I think its one of the most perfect yarns.  It feels so good, and I love the practicality of it – its relatively inexpensive, comes in a lot of colors and has a lot of yardage.  I picked the blue because I thought it would look nice with my coat – and because I was in one of those moods where I wanted to keep close to the original pattern.

2396

Miles and miles of seed stitch.  I can’t say that its my favorite stitch to do but I love the texture of it – this is so soft and squishy, and its going to be so warm next winter.  And its a great project to have while driving, knitting or just when you don’t have the mental capacity to do anything complicated.  I’m enjoying it and for now its bumped all of the other projects off my active list.

Its June  – I can’t believe how fast time is going  – it seems like it was just January and snowing!    I need to  go find a farm stand and buy fresh strawberries.  Because Penny ate most of ours – we only have this little crop right now..

2399

I have a three-day weekend this weekend again – I have to go have some oral surgery done today.   And I got a reminder that I have a mammogram scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.  Honestly  – does that sound like a fun weekend?   I suppose, though, that its ok.    These are things I have to take care of and at least I’ll have some of the weekend to enjoy

OK, off to the oral surgeon’s – have a good weekend!

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26 Responses to Changes

  1. Awesome Mom says:

    That age is a tough age. I think that right now all you can do is let her know that you still love her and let her come back in her own time. Good luck!

  2. Lorraine says:

    Jeanne- I have had my ups and downs with my 18 year old- and I can well remember the things I was going through at that age.

    It is hard, and it will be a difficult adjustment. I guess it’s the cycle of life.

    The rule I go by: love them, especially when they least deserve it.

  3. I also like it when people share parts of their life!

    I think I’ve said this before but I’ve been to hell and back with my son. Even though they are legally adults at age 18, they are not emotionally or intellectually grown up. And that’s good news. She will get older and wiser.

    I second Lorraine’s rule to love them especially when they least deserve it. But I can tell that you are already doing that!

  4. Steven says:

    Adjusting to the empty nest won’t be easy, but from what I can tell, you and Larry are equipped to handle it. Just take deep breaths from time to time. You’ll be fine. And so will your daughter.

    I like all that seed stitch — so nice and orderly!

  5. Anna says:

    Gosh, I really empathise with you. Mine are 17 and 15, so the eldest will be going to university next year. Letting go is so hard! And I already get sad thinking about them both leaving. Like you, I’ve got work and hobbies etc in place already, but I suspect they will leave a huge gap for a while. I hope things work out for you with your daughter.

  6. weezalana says:

    If it helps, my younger brother made some unwise choices at that age, but he turned out just fine. :)

    What a gorgeous blue!

  7. It’s supposed to be strawberry season here, but may was so cool and wet that things are delayed.

    Kids? I think we do the best we can, and hope that when they leave home, they’re equipped to make good decisions. They can hear our voices in their heads, even if they don’t want to, yet.

    It will be really strange to be empty-nesters. It’s coming soon for us, too. Another year…

  8. Cookie says:

    Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. Hopefully, she will stay in touch and realize what’s really important soon.

    You bought yarn?! I am stunned!

    xo

  9. Shea says:

    Wow. I hate to hear that this has happened to you. My prayers are with you guys. Giving her some room is probably a good idea right now, especially since she’s determined to do this. At that age kids “know everything” and I dread when I get to that point with my boys. I’m glad she’s finishing school though.

    Sending hugs your way! {{{{{HUGS!}}}}}

  10. Elspeth says:

    I’m so sorry it was so sudden. My oldest is 10 and I’m really worried about having to deal with that in a few years! I’m sure things will get better.

  11. Chris says:

    I’m so sorry you’re all going through such a tough time. If it’s any consolation, I moved out when I was 18 and eventually ended up back home. It’s a tough thing to do and to have to watch her do, but maybe this is the reality check she may need to realize what’s really important.

    The hood is so pretty – it looks very soothing to knit and I’m sure it will be comforting to wear.

  12. Denise says:

    Thinking about you Jeanne!

  13. Stephanie says:

    Cascade 220 is really the best. I just bought a big bunch of it myself. :)

    Good luck with everything.

  14. Valerie says:

    Sorry to hear about the rough time, I’m confident it will work out in the end.

    I too love the look of seed stitch – knitting it – not so much

  15. redfear says:

    You certainly have a lot going on! It’s a good thing no one can really tell us how hard (rewarding, but difficult!) parenting really is or humankind would have died out after the first generation or so. Glad to hear Andrew is visiting though.

    Your Peaks Island Hood looks gorgeous – I’m with you and Valerie… seed stitch looks great, but it’s a pain to do repeatedly.

  16. Rachel says:

    As others said, I hope you will manage to at least stay in touch with her and let her know you love her no matter what!

    I think this scarf is a perfect match to June knitting :)

  17. Robby says:

    I was a certifiable handful at 18 (actually, DH might say I am now!). The good news is that my parents hung in there and loved me anyway. Even when I didn’t love me very much. It took a while, but we worked our way through it and became good friends, as well as people who are related to each other. Um, sometimes, I think that is in spite of the fact we are related. Be patient, keep loving her, she needs it.

    After reading Penny ate the berries, I was prepared to read there had been another near loss to the family. Lucky she’s so darn cute, no?

  18. Anne says:

    I don’t have kids….but a friend of mine went through something similar with her boys — and in a way it was the best thing….the parents and the children started relating to each other in an adult way — and now only a few years later they are the most together of families — the boys got on with their lives figured out they had to get jobs to support thenselves, and now they have wives and children.

    I hope it all works out for you and your dauther.

    How’s Penny doing? Is her back better?

  19. brokeknits says:

    The scarf will be lovely, despite (because of?) the seed stitch. So cozy! I hope things are going okay with your daughter — sorry to hear it’s been a bit rough lately.

  20. Rebekah says:

    So sorry you are going through a rough patch again with your daughter. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be an empty nester after after kids around for so long. I can’t imagine it’d be easy though, everything is an adjustment in life, but I think that must be one of the most difficult from watching people around me go through the same thing, everyone seems to effect them strongly.

    Well of course you ahve to knit the hood in June because then it’ll be ready for winter on the very first day of cold weather.

    I love Cascade 220 too, and agree it is the most versatile practical beautiful yarn.

  21. Lisa says:

    Everyone has already wisely said so much – I will just say hang in and know that finishing school is really really good.

    And your Peake’s Island hood looks gorgeous – that’s been in my queue for a while also – perfect for our winters!

  22. Kim says:

    Hugs for you. Hope the tests went well and that your knitting is bringing you comfort. Seed stitch can be a pain, but it always looks fabulous – love you Peake’s!

  23. craftivore says:

    Ouf, so sorry to hear of your troubles. You sound so clear on all of it, I hope Ciera will eventually come around. The light blue Cascade is so pretty.

  24. rhoda says:

    ahhh, your peaks island hood is going to be gorgeous! I hadn’t even thought of using cascade 220 as a substitute. love the shade too. well, you know as anyone life has its ups and downs. you and larry have given ciera your absolute best so all you can expect is that she gives her all as well. i know that there are so many what ifs swirling through your head but ask yourself this, do you think you did a good job of raising her? the response to that should hopefully set your mind at ease.

  25. Kathleen says:

    One good thing is she finished school. I had a very stubborn daughter, she did not finish high school. Knew everything sh did. Now 8 years after graduation she still has no job, a boyfriend with no job, etc… She does not have any bad habits, just plain ole unmotivated. There are days when I do not like her behavior, but in the end I still alway love her.

    BTW, what color is the Cascade? That blue is exactly what I am looking for to make a Spring Bandit for my MIL for Christmas.

  26. hakucho says:

    My middle guy (working fulltime this summer) who is starting college in the fall, can’t wait to move out! I can sympathized with the weirdness. I do still have my baby (15 yo)but the house is so quiet with the older one working now and he hasn’t even left yet. I’ll really feel it when the baby leaves in a few years ;)

    It’s normal for them to want to leave and that’s a good thing…you are still there for her when she needs you and that’s what’s important! Good luck adjusting :)

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